‘Best Way to Say Goodbye’ lecture on dementia offered at Rancho Santa Fe Senior Center


Dr. Stanley A. Terman, Ph.D., will speak on “The Best Way to Say Goodbye,” for those who will live with advanced dementia or extreme pain, at 2 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 14.

The free lecture will be at the Rancho Santa Fe Senior Center, 16780 La Gracia. Call 858-756-3041.

Terman is a psychiatrist, bioethicist, author, and medical director of Caring Advocates. He wrote four books on the challenges of end-of-life planning, and created an easy to use, illustrated decision-aid tool to complete Living Wills that effectively deal with dementia. Visit

Questions to be considered:

• How could Casey Kasem have made sure his final weeks would not be plagued with pain and family conflict?

• Did Robin Williams commit suicide due to fear of advanced dementia?

• Did Brittany Maynard hasten her dying due to fear of future unbearable pain?

• Would people still hasten their dying — because they fear total dependency, suffering, indignity, and huge burdens in advanced dementia — and be willing to lose months to years of enjoyable life, if they had confidence in a plan that would allow them to die after they reach advanced dementia?

Topics to be covered:

• Why most Living Wills cannot succeed in attaining the goal of a peaceful and timely transition.

• Why your future caring physicians may not adequately treat your chronic pain if you have dementia.

• How certain strategies can motivate your future physicians to honor your specific end-of-life wishes.

• How to prevent others from overriding your wishes — if you no longer can speak for yourself.

• How Living Wills can allow you a timely dying from your disease — even if you have “No Plug to Pull.”

Caring Advocates’ team of clinical, legal and pastoral professionals inform people about the “Plan Now, Die Later to Live Longer” approach to Advance Care Planning. They help people learn and memorialize their end-of-life wishes; make their wishes known to future physicians; and advocate others to honor these wishes.